The WellMind Method

The WellMind Method is a method for healing pain and realizing joy through living a life of love. The root of emotional pain for many people is a love wound that affects their capacity to love. More than half of all people have a significant love wound due to trauma and/or neglect. They feel unlovable and unable to safely and effectively love and be loved.

The WellMind Method heals this love wound. It makes us more loving. As we become more loving, we experience more joy and less pain. We experience the ultimate fulfillment of loving and being loved.

The WellMind Method is a method for healing pain and realizing joy through living a life of love. The root of emotional pain for many people is a love wound that affects their capacity to love. More than half of all people have a significant love wound due to trauma and/or neglect. They feel unlovable and unable to safely and effectively love and be loved.

Michael and Linda

The WellMind Method heals this love wound. It makes us more loving. As we become more loving, we experience more joy and less pain. We experience the ultimate fulfillment of loving and being loved.

When practicing The WellMind Method, we generate and sustain wisdom and reverence for life. Wisdom helps us to understand both what is happening and what to do. Reverence is the foundation of loving, for it inspires us to love. Wisdom then enables us to love skillfully.

Wisdom and reverence are achieved through two practices, Attending and Appreciating. Together, these practices lead to a state of appreciative attending, or loving awareness. Through appreciative attending, we develop a deep understanding of life, ourselves, and others, and develop the capacity to savor the gift of existence. Appreciative attending also delivers us from the trauma of toxic judgments that have harmed us in the past and that would otherwise continue to poison our vitality. Inspired by reverence for life, we work to nurture life. We love by acting in loving ways. Together, the practices of Attending, Appreciating, and Acting with love make up the three A’s of awakening to love.

The WellMind Method can be summed up in a simple, three-step practice that is actually not so simple and does take practice—consistent, persistent practice over a lifetime. The practice is to continuously:

  1. Ask “What is this?” (Attend)
  2. Affirm “This is sacred.” (Appreciate)
  3. Ask “What would love do?” (Act with love)

Several meditative and contemplative practices that employ visualization and affirmations exist for cultivating attending and appreciation. There are also several techniques for skillfully loving. I teach these practices to my patients and others.

This practice works. A large body of evidence exists from both spiritual traditions and the psychotherapy literature that confirm the efficacy of the three A’s of awakening to love.

These practices, however, are not necessarily all that is needed to heal from a love wound. If you have suffered severe trauma or neglect, or have a mental illness, then you will need to pair your practice of The WellMind Method with good treatment.

While this method takes some time and effort, all you need is willingness to do the work. If you have willingness, you can have faith that you will heal, transform, and realize a life of joy.

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